Rylee Rose Part 2: Delivery

The following is a summary of the series of events that led to me having an emergency c-section while only 24 weeks pregnant. I realize that people may be curious about what exactly happened but are probably too afraid to ask. I don't mind sharing, especially if there's any chance people can learn from my experiences/mistakes. Please refer to this post if you begin wondering why I share personal experiences.

I started slightly spotting Tuesday morning. I called my doctor's office but they said that I didn't need to worry unless I was in pain or bleeding. I didn't have either of those symptoms so, I didn't worry.

By Wednesday and Thursday (Thanksgiving) I had a few more moments of spotting or discharge but no pain and no blood. I was only slightly uncomfortable, with occasional mild Braxton hicks, which is not uncommon for the average pregnant woman. I felt like I had to pee all the time which once again is very common for any pregnant woman.

By Friday morning, November 28th (Black Friday), it seemed like I was losing my cervical plug which usually only happens closer to when you are going to deliver a baby, so I called my doctor. It was a holiday weekend but thankfully my doctor happened to be the doctor "on call." He almost didn't have me go in to get checked but since I am an experienced mother who has already delivered a baby in the past, he said I should probably go to the ER to get checked, just to be safe. So I very hesitantly went to the ER. I felt like they were just going to say I was fine and send me back home. However, when I started feeling a very, very slight lower back cramp on my way to the hospital, I felt like it was probably good I was getting checked just to be safe.

I figured the hospital staff would say I was fine and just send me back home, so I had Nick stay home with Eli where they were playing a game together, rather than drag them to the hospital with me or arrange a babysitter for no reason. 

I arrived at the ER at 11:15am and these are

the messages Nick and I sent to each other.

Me:      I feel so stupid. They're gonna make me

            ride in a wheelchair. I feel silly (11:21am)

            But they're taking me to labor and

            delivery to get checked. I'm glad I'm

            getting checked. I don't feel good.

Nick:    You are a queen. You should.
            Well keep me updated. We'll pray for you.

Me:      Yea
            Thanks

            I just feel like crying. And I want to sleep.

            But I'm already in a room and it's nice

            and quiet and peaceful. (11:28am)

They routinely brought me to a room. After I changed into a hospital gown, the nurse checked my cervix and she calmly said she was going to go get my doctor to have him check me too. After my doctor checked me, he said to the nurse, "You're absolutely right." He then told me that I was already dilated to 7 cm, my body was delivering my baby and there was no way to stop it. I was apparently experiencing "silent labor" and my baby was breech so they would have to do a c-section. The doctors didn't know why it happened but they did have a name for it: incompetent cervix. There was no explanation for why my body went into early labor. It's especially puzzling since I had already carried my first 9 lb. baby full-term without any problems. Even if I had a clue as to what caused this to happen, it's pointless to speculate when we will probably never know. All I know is that it happened and there's no changing it.  

Needless to say, I was shocked but there wasn't much time to process anything. As they began asking me a million questions and hooking me up to machines and IVs, I immediately sent a message to Nick...

Me:      Get a babysitter right now.

            And come to the hospital right now.

            Our baby is coming today. (11:53am)

To say the least, the next few hours were an emotional and physical roller coaster. As they prepared me for surgery, I tried to find a babysitter for our son and I notified my mom so she could come as quickly as possible. One of our sweet friends watched Eli and Nick rushed to the hospital.

When my doctor had taken my hand and kindly told me I was having my baby that day, tears hit me immediately, but I tried my best to stay calm. As long as my baby was going to be okay, I was excited to get to meet her. In my mind, premature babies survive a majority of the time these days. I was trying to stay calm and not be nervous or worried but I couldn't stop shaking. It could have been from the cold IV fluid being pumped into me or from the shock of everything, or both. But after the anesthesiologist stuck her big needle into my spine, I was finally able to relax because I no longer could feel my freezing cold feet and my body finally felt warm.   

Nick arrived at the hospital before I was moved to the operating room. They began the surgery soon after. I know we were both nervous but we got through the surgery cheerfully, to the best of our ability. Our tiny Rylee Rose was born at 1:07pm on Friday, November 28th, 2014, when I was 24 weeks along. She weighed 1 lb. 9 oz. and was 12.25 inches long. As soon as she was born, I heard one precious whimper come out of her mouth.  It was her first and probably her last breath that she took on her own. 

I heard Rylee make a sound but I never got to see her while in the operating room. A group of people immediately went to work on her and I was taken straight to a recovery room where I had to stay for a while before getting to go see Rylee in the NICU. 

Nick & I in the recovery room right after the c-section surgery

It was common sense to expect such a premature baby to need special attention but without being able to see her or know what condition she was in, I had no idea what to think or how much hope I should allow myself to feel. But none of that mattered. At this point, we were simply hoping for the best and excited to meet our baby girl. Her heartbeat had always been perfectly strong during my pregnancy and was still strong even while I was in labor, so I had high hopes that she would be okay. They told us she would probably have to stay in the NICU for a few months so that is what we were planning on. We certainly weren't expecting her to pass away.

My first time seeing Rylee

As they wheeled me in my bed from the recovery room towards my actual hospital room where I would be staying, we stopped by the NICU where I finally got to see Rylee for the first time. My heart was racing more than I realized. From moving around so much and my excitement to see Rylee, I almost threw up. I had to take a moment to relax and calm myself down. Turns out that I was on a medication that can make you nauseated and the full meal I ate before going to the hospital didn't help either. But anyways, overall, it was an enjoyable moment of finally getting to see my teeny tiny baby girl. It was hard to see her hooked up to so many tubes but I was grateful for the life-saving technology that was available to her.

After briefly visiting Rylee, I was taken to my room where I was confined to my bed with machines wrapped around my legs to encourage circulation. It was torture being stuck in my room instead of being able to be by my baby, but there was no arguing it. I needed to be in bed for a good while after surgery. The only productive thing I could do for Rylee was to start trying to get my milk to come in by pumping. So that's what I did.

This birth story post is harder to put together than I thought it would be. It's very draining. I feel very driven and anxious to get it done, but sometimes I can only handle doing little portions at a time. Even though everything happened in less than 48 hours, I definitely wasn't able to write all of this in one sitting. I doubt, though, that it's ever going to be any easier to write about, so I want to get it done before I forget any part of it. After Rylee was born, everything became blurry in the whirlwind of events that transpired. It was such an emotionally and physically draining time for me, on pain meds, sleep deprived, and shocked, so it takes a lot of concentration to work it all out in my mind. But all the more reason why I need to write it all down...so back to writing I go...

After surgery on Friday, I was doing really well. I was happy, excited, and optimistic. I hadn't heard much from the NICU about Rylee's condition but I figured they were busy doing tests on her and helping get her situated. Nick had met with the NICU doctor once who warned Nick of all the typical risks and concerns for such a premature baby, but we still thought she would be okay. 

Eli visiting me for the first time after surgery.

Eli got to meet his little sister Friday evening. It was an exciting time. We were all happy. I'm so glad he got to meet her during a happy time. Nick took him to meet Rylee and my sister went with them and took an adorable video of the whole thing, since I was stuck in bed. We had to have his immunization record in order for him to be allowed to go in the NICU and then he had to wash his hands for 3 minutes straight. It was so sweet when he saw her. He was in awe of his precious baby sister.  

A snap-shot from the video of Eli meeting his sister for the first time.

I can't even tell you how incredibly grateful I am that Eli got to meet his sister while she was still alive. He had been so excited about us having a baby, all throughout my pregnancy, so I don't know how I would have ever been able to explain to him that I wasn't pregnant anymore if he never got to see our baby. That is one of the many blessings that I count and cling to.

It wasn't a surprise that not much sleep happened Friday night, with all the excitement that happened earlier in the day and with all of the nurses checking things every hour or two. My body also itched like crazy, especially my legs. Nick probably wasn't very comfortable either on the guest couch "bed" that I'm pretty sure wasn't designed with tall men in mind. He ended up sleeping on a cushion on the floor. Eli was at our home with my mom and sister.  I was up most of that night. I never turned on the TV. I pretty much just laid there, staring at the clock, with my mind racing all over the place. I would try to sleep but I swear, time was in slow-motion. Every time I opened my eyes and looked at the clock, instead of hours passing, only a few minutes had gone by! I was so anxious for it to be morning so I could see Rylee again. 

Click here for Rylee Rose Part 3: Peaceful Passing