Is the Ability to Feel a Curse or a Blessing?

In a world where "zombie" pills and numbing concoctions are becoming the normal way to cope with the hazards and heartaches of life, I want to encourage the concept that being able to feel is a blessing. It is NOT a function we should shut down psychologically, nor with pharmaceuticals.

I recently lost my sweet baby girl and in an effort to not hurt so much, my initial instinct was to shut down my feelings. If I can't feel, I can't hurt, right?

Right.

But if I can't hurt, then I can't feel love and joy either.

Should I curl up in a ball and hide myself from anything unpredictable or that involves any amount of risk?

"Don't be afraid, enjoy the ride!" (at Disneyland with my son)

Should I never want to have anymore kids so that I won't have to risk feeling like this ever again? 

My father shared the following quote soon after my daughter passed away. It has been helpful for me to remember this concept:

"...In this life no one can have real love without eventually dealing with real loss, and we certainly can't rejoice over one's birth and joy of living unless we are prepared to understand and accommodate and accept with some grace the inevitability--including the untimeliness--of difficulty and trouble and death. These are God's gifts to us--birth and life and death and salvation, the whole divine experience in all its richness and complexity." (from Shepherds, Why This Jubilee by Jeffrey R. Holland, pg. 68-76)

This quote reminds me that the deepest love is only made possible through the deepest pain. To lose something, you have to have had something worth missing in the first place, otherwise you'd never miss what was lost. 

Having and losing my daughter was well worth the intense, unavoidable pain that accompanied her because I was blessed to experience such a profound, enduring love. This present pain I feel will eventually fade, but I'll have this love within me, burning bright, to carry with me and enrich my existence forever.

If you never take the risk to open yourself up, yes, you won't be vulnerable to experiencing pain, but you'll also miss out on opportunities to feel love and joy, to really feel alive. The pain and heartache you expose yourself to is what makes peace and love feel so sweet, so be brave! Embrace the ability to feel as the gift that it truly is. 

Coming soon: Watch for a future post where I plan to expound on how to cope with pain, anxiety, stress, and depression, rather than having to be numbed by the wave of pills that doctors so readily prescribe. I will not be bashing on doctors, nor on appropriately used medication, but I'd like to encourage alternative coping mechanisms that can help fix the problem, rather than just covering it up.