Do Not Suffer in Silence

Be open about your hardships. Others may be able to help you and you may be able to help others.

Silence helps no one.

Putting yourself out there is scary and I'm not suggesting that you "cast your pearls before swine," but if there's any chance your selective words could uplift or strengthen someone in need, it's worth it to open your mouth. 

Being "open" does not mean to needlessly complain; it means to be more honest and real about your struggles or how you're feeling. However, do NOT aimlessly talk about your hardships; instead, DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE to survive and conquer them.

I'm deeply grateful for the several individuals who courageously reached out to my husband and I, after our baby girl passed away, to share their personal understanding of our grief, after losing children of their own. I'm so grateful they didn't keep their thoughts on the matter to themselves. Their encouraging words of hope and understanding brought a great amount of comfort. Simply knowing that we weren't alone in our heartbreak was helpful. It was helpful to know that if needed, there was someone whom we could turn to for advice as to how to get through it. They had "been there, done that," and they are still standing. If they survived it, perhaps we can too...

Although I am generally a reserved person, I feel strongly that I should begin being more open. It is my hope that there is someone in the world, even if it's just one person, who might be able to benefit from me sharing my personal experiences and coping strategies. Being open is mutually beneficial because if my experiences help someone else, I am given the opportunity to transform my trial into a blessing for either me or someone else, or for both of us. This process gives my challenges more purpose and positive results, instead of just scars.

Introduction: Revive Your Inner Child

Congratulations! You're a grown up! You're now a responsible, overwhelmed, pessimistic adult. Supposedly, it's good to grow up. We're supposed to mature beyond the naive, innocent mind of a child. However, being a kid isn't as bad as we might have once thought.  And becoming an adult doesn't require that we lose our true selves along the way.

At some point during my transformation to adulthood, I lost the resilience and uninhibited spirit of my youth. I want it back. I yearn to be a kid again. I don't mean that in a mid-life-crisis kind of way. I am saying that there are a lot of admirable traits that children naturally possess before the grown-up world changes them.

It's a necessary part of life to grow up, but I propose that the world would benefit from more adults acting like un-jaded children. I assume that most people personally know a thirteen-going-on-thirty year-old and a sixty-going-on-sixteen year-old. Kids are too anxious to grow up and adults wish they were young again. With enough effort and practice, it has to be possible to achieve a healthy balance between the two opposite mind sets.

Finding the right balance between being a mature adult, while still being true to your inner child would be the ideal way to not only survive life, but to also thrive in life. This type of person would be an optimistic realist. They would be sincere, but not too serious; playful, yet still capable of depth; and fearless, with a healthy amount of caution. They would also be a resilient sponge, capable of soaking up life's experiences, while still being able to bounce back and expand from strenuous challenges and setbacks.

I often hear of the youthful beauty that adults long for, but I rarely hear grown-ups yearning for the forgiving, resilient, spontaneous, and fearless spirit of their childhood. Sure, I miss my adolescent abs and the ability to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight, but what I miss more is how fearless I was and how easy it was to let things slide off my back.

Moments from my childhood...

I used to be so resilient when I was younger. Yes, bad things happened but I didn't let them keep me down. Then one day, I woke up as an adult to find that I could no longer simply shake "things" off. Life got serious. Life got scary. It was hard to feel like there was a point to keep on going. Wounds no longer healed and scars resurfaced. My defenses were suddenly gone and my soul was taking a merciless beating. It was hard to care without getting hurt, so then I tried to care less.  But hardening my heart and caring less didn't solve my problems. Caring less certainly didn't make life more fulfilling or enriching. I've since realized that how much we "care" and "feel" isn't what matters most; what matters most is how we react.

This blog is my attempt to put a spotlight on all of the good that can come from every challenge, circumstance, and tragedy. It is our choice how we choose to react to the things that happen in our life. It may occasionally require some extra creativity and a resuscitation of the resiliency of our youth, but with the right perspective and mindset, something good can be found in every obstacle. I look forward to exploring and dissecting the pattern of how people find ways to cope with life and overcome their challenges.